Obama’s Gun Violence Report

A few months ago, after the Connecticut School Shooting, President Obama issued a Presidential Memorandum directing the Centers for Disease Control to research the causes and prevention of gun violence, in the hopes of “saving one child”.  As with many politicians, the President hoped to have a report coming back showing how evil guns are and that he needs to immediately disarm the law-abiding American public.

Instead, the report (available from the National Academic Press at http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=18319 (or you can download a PDF version of Priorities for Research to Reduce the Threat of Firearm-Related Violence) painted a much different picture.

As you read it, you will plainly see why the media has been ignoring it. It doesn’t fit their template as it contains important truth such as: Continue reading

How to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 12-days

How to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 12-days

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize earlier this week. Over the last decade the only requirement to win the prize was that the nominee had to be critical of George W. Bush (see Al Gore, Mohamed El Baradei and Jimmy Carter).
President Obama has broken new ground here. Nominations for potential winners of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize ended on February 1. The president took office only 12 days earlier on January 20.
Let’s take a look at the president’s first 12 days in the White House according to his public schedule to see what he did to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize:

January 20: Sworn in as president. Went to a parade. Partied.
January 21: Asked bureaucrats to re-write guidelines for information requests. Held an “open house” party at the White House.
January 22: Signed Executive Orders: Executive Branch workers to take ethics pledge; re-affirmed Army Field Manual techniques for interrogations; expressed desire to close Gitmo (how’s that working out?)
January 23: Ordered the release of federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries. Lunch with Joe Biden; met with Tim Geithner.
January 24: Budget meeting with economic team.
January 25: Skipped church.
January 26: Gave speech about jobs and energy. Met with Hillary Clinton. Attended Geithner’s swearing in ceremony.
January 27: Met with Republicans. Spoke at a clock tower in Ohio.
January 28: Economic meetings in the morning, met with Defense secretary in the afternoon.
January 29: Signed Ledbetter Bill overturning Supreme Court decision on lawsuits over wages. Party in the State Room. Met with Biden.
January 30: Met economic advisers. Gave speech on Middle Class Working Families Task Force. Met with senior enlisted military officials.
January 31: Took the day off.
February 1: Skipped church. Threw a Super Bowl party.

So there you have it. The short path to the Nobel Peace Prize: Party, go to meetings, skip church, release federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries, party some more.

Lie Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man, “and whose clock is that?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his life.”

“Where’s President Obama’s clock?” asked the man.

“Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office,” said St. Peter, “he’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

Outsourced…

Washington, DC — July 9th, 2009

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.

The move is being made in order to save the President’s $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President’s term. “We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,” stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). “We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,” Reynolds noted.

Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India , will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls , NY . Thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at night. “Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center,” stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.

“I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President.” A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. “We know these scripting tools work,” stated the spokesperson.

“Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about.”

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.

A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama’s extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile

Bury the Hatchet!

The election is over. It is time to repair friendships with the other party. Governor Sarah Palin is doing her part to do just that.

The rest of the world cannot understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can kiss and make-up.

For instance, Gov. Palin has invited, to her great state of Alaska, the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden. She has set up a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and hired three prominent experts in their field to assist them.

Dick Cheney will lead them on the hunt, Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins each evening, and Bill Clinton will entertain their wives and daughters.

What a lady! That Sarah is such a sport and thinks of everything!

Why fund the "Mexico City Policy"?

Yesterday, President Barack Obama signed an executive order overturning the “Mexico City Policy” which prohibited Federal money (ie tax payers money) from being used to fund international groups the provide or promote abortions.  Let’s ignore for a moment all of our personal thoughts about abortion.  If we are truly in the “worst economy since the Great Depression” as President Obama likes to say, then why on earth are we going to want to spend anymore money on international aid then we currently are?

Speaking President Obama, I really like this Prickly City comic from yesterday.

stop-watching-msnbc

What I'm Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  As we all sit down and celebrate our blessings this year, I wanted to take a second and express some of the things that I am grateful for.

I am grateful for my family.  I don’t know what I’d do without them.  Amanda is the rock that keeps our family running smoothly.  She is (usually) so happy and sweet and forgiving of her 3 boys when we do something wrong.  She is the pretty girl I know and I’m happy that we have the opportunity to be together forever.  I’m so happy that she is willing to put up with me forever and I hope that I am worthy of her forever.

Mikey is my little namesake.  I am continually amazed at how smart he is.  I have no idea where he gets all of his knowledge from.  He’s almost 3 and fills each day of ours with happiness and love.  He tries really hard to be a good boy and a big helper.  And he normally is.

Josh is my little buddy.  At 8-months old, it is fun to watch him look around the room with wonder.  Everything is so new and exciting.  He also gives Daddy wonderful smiles.

My parents are so willing to help us with whatever we may need.  They love their grandchildren so much.

My siblings love my boys so much.  They go out of their way to let their kids play with my kids and to see us.

My in-laws are wonderful.  You hear all these Mother-in-Law jokes from people, but those people have never meet my mother-in-law.

Who would believe that 9-years after high school graduation my high school circle of friends still meets together about once a month for dinner and games?  They sometimes drive me crazy but I can’t imagine not seeing them or talking to them.

I’m so grateful for Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Savior.  Without His atoning sacrifice, nothing else would matter.  I strive each day to become more and more like Him so that one day when “he shall appear, [I] shall be like him” (1 John 3:2).  I’m grateful that in these last days, He has a prophet on the Earth, even Thomas S. Monson.  I strive to always follow the Lord and His servants for, as He taught, “whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (Doctrine and Covenants 1:38).

I’m grateful to live in America.  She has her problems (most of which are Government induced) but she is still a wonderful land.  What other country has a Constitution inspired by God?  I didn’t support President-Elect Obama, but I wish him the best.  I hope he follows our Constitution and is a great president.  If he does, I’ll support him.  If (when) he doesn’t, I’ll oppose him.  I’m grateful that I have the freedom to do those things.

I’m thankful for so many other things that there just isn’t time for in this blog entry.

What are you guys thankful for?

Is Obama Greek?

Attributed to LDS President George Albert Smith.  Don’t know if it is true or not, but interesting, none the less:

Then President George Albert Smith said, “I have had a troublesome vision of another great and terrible war that made the war just ended look like a training exercise, and people died like flies. It began at a time when the Soviet Union’s military might dwarfed that of the United States, and we, that are the United States, would have missiles that carried an atomic bomb in Europe. I saw the United States, withdraw its missiles to appease the Soviet Union, and then the war began.”

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