For those who have been worried, everything will eventually be fine. I’m working through everything with the person involved. As everyone has suggested, I finally talked to the person involved. This person agreed that I could talk to the Wife about it. Afterwards, the three of us sat down and talked about it. Everything will, someday, be fine.

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just got back from a long drive. I was hoping that it would help clear my mind. It didn’t. As I was out driving, I took note of every bar that I passed. I think I’m starting to understand why some people drink to get rid of the pain. While I didn’t stop, I wanted to. Instead I went to the Temple, which, being 11:00 pm, was closed. I pulled into the parking lot of the Stake Center next to it and just sat there and thought. I looked at the white luster of the Las Vegas Nevada Temple, and the glittering lights of the Las Vegas metropolitan area. While I was there, I thought of something that that I wrote, back in 1996. The very end of it reads: “Will someone ever be able to, Oh, be able to glue together, The pieces of my broken heart?” I don’t entirely know why I thought about it, but, in a very real way, this secret has broken my heart.

You know the trouble with secrets? No one knows. What makes this one particularly troubling is that the person it regards doesn’t know that I know.  I can’t feel like I can talk to that person without a big fight, without a lot of heartache. I can’t feel like I can talk to anyone else because this secret, if it got out, could really hurt this person. I care about this person too much to do that to this person. I’ve thought about going to see a Mental Health Professional, but can’t bring myself to do that. I’ve thought about going to see my Bishop, but I don’t think I want him to know this secret. I’ve tried to pray, but I can’t get the words out.

For a while yesterday (Thursday), I felt like I was getting out of the worst of it, but then, the nightmares started to haunt my mind again. I think I’ve cried more since learning of this secret on the 23rd than I have… I frankly don’t now how long. I don’t know how much longer I will be able to deal with this. I feel so… alone. I don’t know what to do.

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Even though I have a lot of really good friends, a loving wife, and a great family, I don’t really have anyone that I feel that I can discuss this secret with. At least, I’ve been able to stop thinking about it so much and even was able to smile a little bit today. This has just really shocked and hurt me, deeply. There are moments that I feel that I won’t be able to get over it, and then there are moments when I ask myself why I am even letting it bother me. I feel that I’m about to crack up. I feel so alone…

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Have you ever learned a secret about someone close to you that you wish you didn’t know? If so, has the thought of it haunted you? Does it make you sad, upset, embarrassed and betrayed? Do you release that these feelings are unjustified as, true be told, it doesn’t change anything? How do you forget? How do you get over it? How can you get the nightmare to stop in your head?

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The Wife and I are sorry for those who were hurt and the family of those killed during today’s shotting at Virgina Tech University. It is so tragic that people would want to cause harm to others.

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previously reported that I had hired a new employee. Well, he’s no longer working with us. It didn’t work out.]]>

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It appears that people are being called to say that they missed their jury duty summons. They are told that a warrant has been issued. To try to clear it up, they ask for your social, date of birth, etc. And then… puff. Your ID is stolen.

FBI Press Release
US Courts Press Release

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COX Online Backups. Our existing server was having trouble handling the demands of it, e-mail, web, and file/print. So, we’ve added a new server. It is running the AMD Athlon 64 X2 4200+ processor, with a 1 GB of RAM, on Windows Server 2003 R2 x64 Enterprise Edition. We’ve moved the Online Backups to that server and, for the time being, going to keep everything else on the other server.
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