Last night, I was talking to Mikey before we read scriptures.  I said “Mikey who do I love?  Do I love M-I-K-E-Y C-O-X?”  Mikey said “Yes.”  Then I asked him, “Mikey, who do you love?”  He said “I love M-O-M-M-Y.”  “Who else do you love?”  “I love J-O-S-H?”.  “Who else do you love?”  Mikey’s response was “Ummm…. how do you spell Tinkerbell?”

(Tinkerbell is Aunt Michelle’s dog)

Popularity: 17% [?]

Yesterday, She Who Must Be Obeyed told me she could see 3 gray hairs in my unshaven facial hair.  She told me that I should go shave them before anyone else could see them.  I told her that not only was I going to not shave them, I’m decided to name them: Amanda, Mikey, and Josh.

She rolled her eyes and didn’t say anything else.

Popularity: 19% [?]

As you guys know, we’ve been working on potty training Mikey.  Currently, we are using a potty chart and each time Mikey uses the potty, he puts a sticker on it.  He gets rewards based on the number of times, although recently, every time he goes, he gets a little mini bag of M&Ms.  A night or two ago, Mikey was about to go to bed and told us he had to go pee-pee.  I took him into the bathroom and he went pee-pee.  Afterwards, we went into Mommy’s office and he got a sticker and put it on his potty chart.  He then asks Amanda & I “What do I get”?  Mommy told him that he got a sticker for his potty chart.  Mikey looks at her and said “What do I get to put in my mouth?”

Popularity: 11% [?]

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Amanda & I were commenting about how smart Mikey is during dinner.  I asked Amanda if she thought Josh would be as smart as Mikey or smarter.  Mikey then said what sounded like “Dumb”.  Amanda & I looked at each other and started laughing.  What Mikey actually said is “Yum”.  His dinner was good, but he said it at just the right moment…

Popularity: 11% [?]

If I were Nancy Pelosi, I would give in to the Republican’s demand of “drill here/drill now”.  I would call the House of Representatives back into session tomorrow, 4 September 2008, in the afternoon.  I would do this for two reasons.  First, that is when presumptive Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain will be accepting the Republican nomination for President.  Second, several of the Republicans are on a “fact finding mission” to Iraq & Afghanistan.  I believe that few of the Republicans would come back in the middle of the GOP convention and Speaker of the House Pelosi could always point out that she got down to business and the Republicans didn’t care enough about the American Working families to come back into session and vote on drilling.

Popularity: 26% [?]

Who’d you rather have protecting and defending Our Inspired Constitution from all threats, foreign & domestic?

Our friends over at Alternative08.com has this cartoon on their site.  It’s sad how true it is.

Popularity: 24% [?]

Popularity: 26% [?]

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You’re in seat 12B. That will be $5, Please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to ‘Sit’.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It’s the Airline’s new Policy.
Passenger: That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. I won’t pay it.
Attendant: Sir, Do you want a seat on this flight or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I’ll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carryon bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be Swell, Thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, Please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The Airline now charges a $10 carryon assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won’t stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you’re right, you can’t stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We’re about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: “No Way! “
Attendant: Sir, if you don’t comply, I will be forced to call the Air Marshal. And you really don’t want me to do that.
Passenger: Why Not? Is he going to ‘Shoot me’?
Attendant: No, But there’s a $50 Air-Marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can’t believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It’s stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn’t seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, Sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the First Five minutes.
Passenger: The Airline is charging me for Cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It’s the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don’t have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, Sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you’ve given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there’s a ‘change making fee’ of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin’ out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You’ll need it later for the lavatory.

Popularity: 32% [?]

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the biker says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.’

The biker replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’

The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist from the New York Times, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page.. So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, ‘I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.’

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

Popularity: 25% [?]