Mikey and Josh are just about over their colds, but we decided that we were going to keep them home from Church one more Sunday, just to make sure. Trying to be a good Daddy & Husband, I told SWMBO that I would stay home with the boys and she could go to Church. This morning, SWMBO announced that we should all stay home from Church (she was tired). I waited about 2-minutes and then told her that if she was going to stay home, I’d go to Church and she could stay home with the boys. She very quickly said she would go to Church. So, the best way to motivate Wife to go to Church is to tell her she would have to stay home with the boys… interesting.
10. My neighbors have a TWO year supply! No, they don’t. They don’t have any food. Did you know that 85% of the members of the church don’t have any food storage at all? If your idea of food storage is to eat someone else’s food………..this is a really bad plan.
9. I’ve paid tithing for 20 years…the church can give me a little food. Many members believe that when the times get hard, the church is going to come through like Joseph in Egypt. Absolutely not true. All the church storehouses and welfare farms across the country would only feed 4% of the members of the church. The church has been asking YOU to store food for 75 years. They’re NOT storing food for you. Thus, another bad plan.
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center . Claude the hypnotist exclaimed:
“I’m here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
“I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my family for six generations.”
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting:
“Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch…”
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist’s finger and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.
“CRAP” said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians…It creates a hostile work environment.
The 10 Cannots
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men’s initiative and independence.
And you cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves.
“Due to weather conditions and for the safety of students, all Clark County School District schools will be closed today. Students should not report to campus. All administrators, 12-month employees, and office staff should report to work as usual. Teachers, other classroom employees and bus drivers are not expected to report to work since a makeup day may be scheduled later in the year. All school-based Food Service personnel, Food Service truck drivers and warehouse employees are not to report for work. However, all other Food Service personnel shall report for work or contact their supervisor.”
18 December 2008
I grew up going to school in the Clark County School District. I don’t ever remember a snow day ever canceling school. So much for global warming. Oh, speaking of school canceling, my CERT class from last night was also canceled.
I got an e-mail from SWMBO today. It was an excellent presentation about secret combinations. I’d highly recommend it.
Download and read [download#35#nohits] and then tell me what you think.
As most of you know, I own a computer repair company called Las Vegas Geeks. One of the most common problems I run into is viruses, spyware, or some other kind of malware. There are some great utilities out there to help clean up these problems, but new malware comes out faster then the tools to clean them up. Yesterday, I was at two different places that had the same malware, Rootkit.Zlob. I was able to most of the problems fixed using ComboFix, Hijack This, Spybot and a quick scan of MalwareBytes’ Anti-malware. But the system was still running very sluggish. I did a full scan with MalwareBytes and it would find two results of Rootkit.Zlob in the C:\Documents and Settings\%Username%\ folder. When I tried to remove this with Malwarebytes, the system would freeze up. I could find the folder with the Command Prompt, but of course, since its a rootkit, I couldn’t remove it or find anything inside of the folder. I thought about trying to use Windows Recovery Console, but since the problem is the Documents and Settings folder, the default settings of Recovery Console would not have allowed me to get into this folder. And the system was running slowly enough that I didn’t want to try to change those settings. So, I used a LiveCD and booted up the system. I could then find this folder and remove it. The system ran great after that. I should also have had the same results plugging the drive into a different PC, although I didn’t try that.
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.
They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the ‘Rowing Team Quality First Program,’ with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to ‘equal the competition’ and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale-boosting programs and teamwork posters.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.
The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year’s racing team was out-sourced to India.
Sadly, the End.
Here’s something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can’t make money paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter’s results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads, collecting bonuses… and asking for a “bail-out”…
IF THIS WEREN’T SO TRUE IT MIGHT BE FUNNY